Last year God showed up in some amazing ways and I will forever be changed because of it. Being able to really travel the world and experience what God made me to do was the coolest thing ever. Fundraising was difficult, but God like I said up showed up in huge ways! Since being back I have started to struggle with the idea of whether or not I am going to pursue Missions as a career or just get a job and go from there. Deep down, and if I were to be honest, missions is what I would choose every time, but how do you fight your logical self?
Trusting in God and what he can do can be extremely difficult, and choosing to live in such a way you are completely reliant on him is an added layer to that difficulty. With everything I am I want to travel overseas more and work with people and show them who Christ is. I want to walk side by side with those who have a passion and desire for the same type of work and see this world change. I want to be able to experience different cultures and the food that goes along with it. To meet up with people I have already met around the world and actually be able to continue those relationships. This is what I want, but the fight with it is, is this actually a feasible thing for me to do…? Lets look at the facts…
1. I do not have a college degree and have college debt I have to pay off
2. I don’t make a lot of money at the moment and cannot just get up and go
3. I have other responsibilities like trying to take care of my car that is currently sitting in a parking lot… not starting
4. Getting a normal job will come with a steady paycheck and all the fun things like benefits and things like that
5. People get annoyed constantly being asked for money
6. If I am not called to it, what am I doing it for?
7. Even with a normal job, how would I find one without a degree here in the states
Life is a crazy thing and I am working through this…..and I know the answers I need, I am just trying to get to a place of believing those answers…but even more than that believe God and who he has called me to be…and just believe that my past and my circumstances do not dictate my future unless I allow them to.
So yeah these are just some things that God is working on me in!
